Fiddlesticks
by sweetsheart
Summary: It's kind of emasculating when you're outranked in your girlfriend's graces by a children's toy. He hated that toy. But, when she goes on a mission, he has a choice; let it live… or ignore it? SteinxMarie.


It was ten at night, and Stein had been watching Marie play with the incessantly chirping little electronic egg for a good twenty minutes.

"Marie… what is that?" Stein asked.

"It's a Tamagotchi." Marie mumbled, still looking at the screen. Stein raised an eyebrow.

"Are you going to come to bed?" Stein asked.

"Can't. Look, my baby, he's skipping with his friend!" Marie said, turning the tiny little screen to Stein. He squinted and could vaguely make out a small blob with a face jumping up and down with… another blob with a face.

"Your baby? I hope I'm the father." Stein smirked. Marie sighed at him.

"This is serious stuff. I'm up to my sixth generation and I haven't killed him." Marie said. Stein sighed. This was ridiculous. She was infatuated with this little thing. A devious look crossed his features.

"I'm going to be in bed." Stein said.

"Mmhm." Marie said, still staring at the Tamagotchi.

"I'll be waiting for you." he replied.

"Mmhm." Marie said.

"I'll be naked." Stein added.

"Mmhm." she said. Stein raised a brow in thought.

"With chocolate." he added.

"Mmhm." Marie said. Stein shook his head. This thing had some serious appeal.

"And then, we can talk about our feelings." he lied, a last ditch attempt at drawing her away from the incessant little electronic… thing.

"That's nice, honey." she said, still pressing the buttons on the toy. Stein shook his head. She was a grown woman and was obsessed with this so-called Tamagotchi.

Maybe if he found a friend to play skipping ropes with, he'd be that alluring.

* * *

Over the next week, Marie's interest in the toy did not dwindle. Stein hid it in an attempt to spend time with Marie.

Okay, it may have been so he could possibly get laid for the first time since that infernal toy came into the laboratory.

His plan was foiled, however, when it started to make noises.

"Stein, it's dying!" she exclaimed, the look of worry in her eyes cracking even the resolve of the cold scientist.

He lifted up the mattress and pulled the toy out, pretending it had simply fallen down the back of the bed.

It must have been from the brute force of all that sex they weren't having.

"Oh, thank goodness." Marie said, taking the little egg from Stein and pressing several buttons, shutting it up. Stein sighed and sat down on the bed.

"It'll send you blind." Stein said.

"If it doesn't work on teenage boys, why would it work on me?" Marie asked. Stein sighed, flopping down backwards on the bed.

It was obvious that he'd slipped down the food chain.

It was now Tamagotchi, then Stein.

Stein found it _so_ comforting that a mass produced children's toy was being favoured over him.

* * *

Marie was called off to assignment not long afterwards. She kissed Stein passionately goodbye; you gave proper goodbyes to those you loved every time you went on a mission.

"If you could, could you feed and clean Fiddlesticks every so often?" Marie asked.

"Fiddlesticks? Really?" Stein asked, his hands resting on Marie's hips. Marie sighed.

"Please?" Marie asked, her eyes blinking quickly at the man before her. Stein sighed.

"I'll see." Stein said. Marie smiled and kissed him one more. Stein pulled away first, resting his forehead against hers.

"Don't die on me." he said.

"I'll try not to." Marie replied, pressing her hand to the side of his face.

"Good." Stein replied.

"I love you." Marie said.

"I love you too." Stein replied, watching as Marie took a small bag of her belongings and walked out the laboratory to a car which would take her to Shibusen. She was needed for her half-form and her wavelength abilities; she didn't need a meister.

"She called it… Fiddlesticks." Stein said to himself, shaking his head.

* * *

Stein had told himself earlier in the day that he was just going to let the Tamagotchi die. Hopefully, the battery would die with it, and Stein could say that was the reason he didn't feed it or clean it. Not to mention take it on playdates.

He was a grown man, for goodness' sake.

Later than night, the chirping started. Stein could block the noise out, easily.

It was the image of the worry in Marie's eyes that he couldn't ignore.

"_Stein, it's dying!_" her voice reverberated in his head. He sighed and stood up, picking up the Tamagotchi and sitting down on the couch.

"How do I work you?" he asked, pressing a button.

"Oh, okay, that's the menu." Stein said to himself. The Tamagotchi continued to chirp.

"Oh, shut up, what's wrong?" Stein asked. The Tamagotchi jumped up and down.

"Are you hungry?" he asked it, to no avail. He fed it, and it continued to cry. Stein rolled his eyes. But Marie's face kept flashing up in his mind. He cleaned the Tamagotchi's living space, and it gave a little beep of content before falling asleep. Stein sighed and put it back on his desk.

"I'm only doing this for Marie, Fiddlesticks." Stein said. His eyes widened.

"Oh, I'm calling it by the name. I've gotta go to bed." Stein said to himself.

* * *

As the days passed, Stein got rather used to taking care of Fiddlesticks. Even he had to admit, this thing was addicting. Watching the blob bounce around with _other_ blobs… it was more scintillating than it should have been.

He still found the thing stupid and unnecessary; for Death's sake, they were blobs with faces. But something intrigued him… and for the life of him he couldn't work out why.

Stein was grateful that Marie's mission was over that day; he'd never admit it, but he missed her terribly when she was gone. He was currently sitting in the corridor that led up to the door of the Death Room, taking care of the little egg which, no doubt, Marie would want to see was well when she returned.

"You're still stupid." Stein said to the gadget as he continued to take care of it, sitting against the wall on his desk chair.

"You're not bad conversation, though." Stein continued as the little device made a small beeping noise. Stein raised an eyebrow as he tried desperately to stop the Tamagotchi's whining.

"What… What is it?" He asked it, but it continued to cry and jump around.

"Doctor Stein… what are you doing?" a voice asked. Stein looked up to see Maka waiting across from him. Spirit had gone on the mission as well, and though she wasn't really fazed by her father's return, it probably wouldn't look good if she didn't turn up.

"Not now, Maka." Stein said, looking down at the crying virtual pet.

"Stop it! Just stop!" he exclaimed, pressing the three little buttons on the electronic egg like his life depended on it.

Come to think of it, it probably did. He expected that killing The Pulveriser's Tamagotchi came with some big consequences.

And then, it happened.

It died.

"No!" Stein exclaimed, clutching the egg in his hand and dropping his arms to his sides.

"Is that a… Tamagotchi?" Maka asked. Stein looked up at the sandy blonde and nodded sadly.

"It… It was Marie-sensei's. But now it's dead… like I'm going to be when she finds out I killed it." Stein muttered. Maka sighed and walked over to the doctor.

"Death is a natural part of life, Doctor Stein." she said, and Stein raised an eyebrow.

"What's your motive here?" Stein asked. Maka leant over and grabbed the Tamagotchi from Stein, turning it around and pulling a hairpin out of her pocket. She played around with the back of it until, suddenly, something chirped to life.

"What did you do?" Stein asked.

"I reset it." Maka said, throwing the electronic egg back to the doctor and making her way through to the Death Room.

Stein looked down at the new, dancing blob.

It wasn't the same, but maybe… just maybe… he would survive Fiddlesticks' demise.

* * *

"I missed you, Franken." Marie said, wrapping her arms around Stein's waist. Stein rested his arm around her shoulder as they finished their climb up the laboratory stairs.

"I hate to ask, but…" Marie looked up at Stein with a small giggle, and Stein stuck his hand into his pocket and handed her the small egg.

"You looked after it for me?" Marie asked as they walked into the laboratory.

"Uh… yes." Stein said, and Marie looked down at the egg. After a couple of seconds, her eyes dropped.

Stein knew he was sprung.

"This isn't Fiddlesticks, Stein." Marie looked up at the silver-haired man and he cracked.

"Okay, okay, I'm sorry. I swear, I looked after it for the whole time you were gone!" Stein held up his hands in surrender.

"And then, I was waiting for you, and it just up and died! And then Maka pressed the thing on the back, and there was another one, and-" Stein stopped explaining himself when Marie began to laugh.

"What? What are you laughing at?" Stein clenched his fists. Marie walked over to Stein and ran her hands up and down his arms.

"You looked after it for me?" Marie asked. Stein nodded and looked down at the blonde.

"I didn't do very well." Stein chuckled. Marie sighed and rested her hed on Stein's chest.

"Well, you tried, Stein. And that's very sweet… and kinda sexy." Marie bit her lip. Stein raised an eyebrow and looked down at Marie.

"Did I miss something?" Stein asked.

"I've forgone you for a silly little toy, Stein, but you still looked after it for me." Marie said. Stein nodded, though he wasn't sure that Marie should be putting so much emotional stock in a toy.

"And it takes a man to be out in public with a little toy like that." Marie giggled.

"You're telling me." Stein said. Marie giggled once more and took off Stein's glasses, sliding them into his pocket. She grabbed the front of his labcoat and pulled him towards the bedroom.

And so, as the two of them headed off to break the drought that the Tamagotchi had caused, the natural order was restored.

He was no longer outranked by a children's toy, and that comforted him.

His next mission was to make sure it stayed that way.

By putting that infernal toy in a cupboard, very, very, _very_ high up.


End file.
